To: Those Who Are Rich

I'm reading this book called Stories for the Heart: The Second Collection, which is, as it says, a collection of heart-warming stories (Think: Chicken Soup for the Soul), most of which have a religious morality or ending to them. Here's one I just read & wanted to puddle around in for awhile:

This particular story is written by Marion Doolan from The Bigness of the Fellow Within

Lady, are you rich?

They huddled inside the storm door - two children in ragged outgrown coats.

"Any old papers, lady?"

I was busy. I wanted to say no - until I looked down at their feet. Thin little sandals, sopped with sleet. "Come in and I'll make you a cup of hot cocoa." There was no conversation. Their soggy sandals left marks upon the hearthstone.

I served them cocoa and toast with jam to fortify against the chill outside. Then I went back to the kitchen and started again on my household budget...

The silence in the front room struck through to me. I looked in.

The girl held the empty cup in her hands, looking at it. The boy asked in a flat voice, "Lady...are you rich?"

"Am I rich? Mercy no!" I looked at my shabby slip covers.

The girl put her cup back in its saucer - carefully. "Your cups match your saucers." Her voice was old, with a hunger that was not of the stomach.

They left then, holding thier bundles of paper against the wind. They hadn't said thank you. They didn't need to. They had done more than that. Plain blue pottery cups and saucers. But they matched. I tested the potatoes and stirred the gravy. Potatoes and brown gravy, a roof over our heads, my man with a good steady job - these things matched, too.

I moved the chairs back from the fire and tidied the living room. The muddy prints of small sandals were still wet upon my hearth. I let them be. I want them there in case I ever forget again how very rich I am.

How rich are you guys?

I don't know about you, but even in my very circumstance I've got four walls around me, a bed with pillows and a blanket, a kitchen with food, and my mother & sister here with me.

How rich am I? Deuteronomy 8:10-18. It's a good one. Here's a bit of it: (17-18) You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the Lord your God, for it is He who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.

This morning my mom and I got quite busy cleaning up the apartment, dusting, putting away things, scrubbing, etc. I worked for hours on my room. I moved around furniture, now that we've been here for a few months I've realized where things should be due to necessity, so that's good! I added some new elements to my room, hung things up on the wall, and am in the process of doing 5 loads of laundry. It looks splendid, I could tell you that. Things are color coordinated (I'm quite a neat freak in that ideal) and everything seems to match. My things match.

One of the pastors at my church last Summer said something to all of us college kids that kind of stuck with me. We were talking about fellowship and watching out for, as well as taking care of, your brothers and sisters. He said to check in with each other, with your friends, with non-friends even. We're all brothers & sisters, so why not? He said it could be as simple as going up to a friend and saying "How's your heart these days?" It'll be an invitation for each of you to check your own heart.

So here I am, in my spick-and-span cleaned-up room saying to myself, "How's your heart these days?" Without going too much into detail - yes, things aren't as wonderful as they could be, and I'm working on it, but everything matches. Matches in the sense that, I'm loved by Christ, by my mother & father, my sister, my boyfriend, my best friends, my family. I love them equally back. So...matches. It all matches.

The things in between my four walls, sure, they match. But they're not where my wealth is. You could check my wallet or savings account too! I can assure you, that ain't where my wealth is. If you want to know where my wealth is just ask me how my heart is doing. :)

From: Me

To: Ye of Little Faith

Do you ever feel like this guy in the picture? "Finding my faith" says his sign. I've proclaimed Christ as my savior for a long while, I still hold up that same sign. The finding part is not so much a search for salvation or even redemption in one form or another, I know where love & grace comes for. The finding part of my sign is more of a What Am I Going to Do With My Life for His Glory plea.
Tonight after he got off work, Prince Charming stopped by...with pie. :D I mean, it was already enough for my little heart to go pitter patter that he was able to come over, but top it off with delicious, wonderfully baked, perfectly crusted khalua pie in hand!!! We splayed ourselves on the small sofa with Mama & Sissy while we watched tv & ate pie. It wasn't until after he left that I realized that for the entirity of his visit, I wasn't relaxed. I hadn't relaxed. While everyone was laying out with their feet up on the faux leather ottomans, I kinda just sat there, somewhat stiff-backed, just sitting. I couldn't relax.
Once PC had left, I texted him an apology for any awkwardness I gave off. I had things on my mind, and I couldn't relax. He asked what things were on my mind and I replied 'The usual :\ Money worries & looking for a job.'
To which he replied: Matthew 6:25-34! Read it now!
~
Now, PC & I have been working on growing spiritually together, and giving each other verses throughout the day is something we're trying out. It's still fairly new to him, sharing his faith, so just the fact that he'd sent me a verse & said read it now!!! to me, meant that A) it was something very important, and B) he's the most wonderful guy in the world for kicking my worrisome butt with good ol' fashioned Biblical backup!! :P
~
Here it is: Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
First of all, it says DO NOT WORRY ABOUT YOUR LIFE. Didya get that?? I read it twice through trying to make it stick in my brain! Here it is again: DO NOT WORRY ABOUT YOUR LIFE!
Second of all, it even says, worrying does nothing to improve your life. It does you no good.
Third of all, and most important, TRUST IN OUR HEAVENLY FATHER, HE KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED. SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM & HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS. Don't worry. Why would you? Trust God! He is ALMIGHTY! ALMIGHTY!!!! That's not like He's a cool guy, or pretty neat. Nope. He's ALMIGHTY. He knew you before you were born. He loves you. Trust in His perfect plan, may not be what you thought, wanted or hoped for - but if you SEEK FIRST HIS KINGDOM AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, you'll realize (and by you, I mean me) that He'll keep you. You're kept. So trust Him.
I don't know if I'll get a job today, tomorrow or two months from now. I don't know if I'll be financially set. I don't know if I'll be able to pay off student loans. I don't know. I DON'T KNOW. But He does.
I'll continue to trust in His timing with the help of someone who has already shown me God's blessings when you least expect them. :)

From: Me

To: The World's Crackberry Users

Crackberry User: [krak-BER-eee yoo-ZER] - noun 1. A person who loves, with all of his or her heart, their Blackberry. To this user (which is in a class far beyond regular cellular users), their phone is an extension of their being. They've developed some kind of [healthy] addiction to ther phone because it's much, much, more than just a phone.

I, am one such user.

And I...are you ready for this?...suffered a tragic & dramatic event last evening. Yes, this is true. My beloved Blackberry was lost for the longest 40 minutes of my life. This is the story:

I was working yesterday afternoon with the middle school ministry for our monthly fair. It's a huge, indoor event (yes, indoor: read: earplugs are totally necessary), with about 10 large inflatable games and almost 200 middle schoolers running a rampage. We've got everything from a Wii station with Rockband, to a full inflatable obstacle course and boxing ring (my personal favorite cause I kick boo-tay. No lie y'all). This is a time separate from weekly youth group. This monthly fair is an opportunity for our "regular" students to invite their friends & come to church to play. Then, while we trap them with games, food, and fun, we give them a friggin awesome worship sess. & a sermon at the end.

I was tired. Haha. Beyond tired, but I can't think of a word to suffice. I worked the obstacle course all night, jumped up & down with the kids during worship, and was put on "cell phone patrol" during the sermon. WOW. PAUSE. That's RIIIIIDICULOUSLY IRONIC. I DID NOT GET THE PREDICTIVE REFERENCE, BUT NOW I DO. Anyway (you'll get it when I'm done), when the fair finished, the leaders & I stayed behind to help clean up, etc. About a half hour later, I walked out, and upon getting to my car, I got a chill so I threw my purse in the carseat, and put my wonderful, beautiful, amazing phone on the roof of the car while I put on my sweater.

:'( ready for the heartbreak?

I forgot it was there. I got in, drove off. Oh the humanity!!!

It wasn't until I had turned out of the church onto the highway (which is a 55 by the way) that I heard a thump on the roof & immediately panicked. I mean. I've never felt my heart drop like that. I didn't even have time to speak, I just pulled over, made a U-y somewhere and was on my way back around all the while saying "NO! NO!!!! NOOOOO!!" as if my phone was my right hand that I'd just lost. While I turned to head back to the church to make another U-y, I heard another thump & again my heart dropped. I stopped on the side of the road, got out, checked, and nothing was on the top of the car. :'( My eyes teared up. *I'm not making this up, don't make fun of me. I love my phone.

My phone. It has all the text messages that my Love & I have sent to each other since before we started dating. I reread those messages because they make me smile!! So the thought of losing them for good was crushing me.

Then, I turned around, went back on the highway where I first heard the thumps, turned on my high beams and found absolutely nothing on the road. :\ I panicked again. Had someone picked it up? Or crushed it to it's molecule!?!? I turned around again & found nothing, so I drove to the church to see if my some act of God I had dropped it in the parking lot, and the thumps were just imaginary. But no such luck. My eyes got a little misty, and then my heart sank when I remembered all the text messages I'd be losing, and how I really don't have enough money to even buy a 20 replacement phone. So leaving the church parking lot, I was going to begrudgingly head home to cry with my mommy, and then right there...at the stop light (before getting to the highway), in the crosswalk right next to me, I see my phone. Blinking away. (My phone constantly blinks a cute little green light, which gave it the nickname - Blinkie). Without another thought, I ran out of the car (don't worry, no one was behind me) and ran to pick up my little phone. **The people stopped at the light must've thought I was nuts.

I cradled the phone back to the car and sped off, shaken and lost.

There were many lessons that screamed at me on my way home last night.

#1. The importance of second chances...or sometimes third.

#2. The importance of faith. Some may discard my emotions as a stubborn girl who lost a material thing, but to me it was memories that I didn't want to lose, and couldn't believe I'd been stupid enough to let go so foolishly. Needless to say, I've got to take care of the things I have, better.

While I do consider myself a Crackberry User, I know that it's just a material thing. Just plastic, and electronic-y stuff stuffed inside. But it was the principle behind the event that I took away with me, not a phone. That idea of "Try again." I went back and tried again. In fact I tried to find it 3 gosh darn times. When you want something bad enough, you'll try hard enough. You'll try three times or three hundred. You'll keep trying until you get it.

I'm not a giver-upper. I highly dislike giving up. So that's why I try. Most of the time, I fail. But eventually, I get it right in the end. Be it trying to master a song on the piano, finding someone that I love with all my heart, opening the peanut butter jar cap (my current nemesis), or finding something that's lost, at the end, whether you got it or you didn't, you realize that that's how it's supposed to be.

From: Me

To: All Who Fear

To say that I have nightmares would be somewhat of an understatement. Ever since I was little, I've always been afraid of the average - spiders, clowns, etc. But over the years, and with much unneeded help from movies and tv (I ain't kidding), I've become so paranoid that the fears I have during the day have slipped into my dreams.

Last week I had consecutive nightmares, all different, but all violent and scary, for four nights. I wake up at 2 in the morning, panting, shaken, and cold with fear. Sometimes, if they're real bad, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I can't move...I don't move. I'll stay still for almost half an hour, panicking, analyzing every sound that creeks. This fear has so paralyzed me, that it makes me try and avoid sleep altogether. Needless to say, that didn't work...but did provide me with some excellent bags under my eyes.

Now, it's been creeping into my days as well. Whenever I go out, even in the middle of the afternoon, I get so afraid, that coming up the stairs to my place, I'll run to the door, or run to the car. People, including maybe you, must think I'm silly. I don't know how to explain it, it's just something that's always seemed to plague me.

That's most definitely an area of my life that I have yet to learn to relinquish my absent-minded control that I've naively attempted to keep myself. What a nerd I am. haha. To think that I could talk myself out of my fears, or try and ignore them, or whatever. Guess what hun! God, Almighty, powerful, God is full of love. And in His love for me, I have these fears. That constantly remind me, I am not (not even close to being) in control. It isn't that strange to consider that the God who loves me, also instills in me these fears that keep me awake, in order to teach me a lesson? :) That's where the powerful, omnipotent part comes in.

So, mostly to calm the storm in my brain before I sleep, here's all the passages I found about fear:
Psalm 23:4 "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
**Oddly enough, I used to always say that, sometimes out loud when I couldn't sleep and was petrified of the unknown scary things lurking about. I will fear no evil, for He is with me! :) I gained so much confidence from that.

Psalm 27:1 "The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 91:1-7 **This one's the kicker** "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.' Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plauge that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you."

Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

1 John 4:18 "...perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." **Guess what guys, the only perfect love I know of is the love of Christ. Perfect love (aka GOD) drives out fear.

Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears."

Really? Do I need to be so afraid? Not at all. And even if I were, God is mighty. And He kicks fear's butt. :P

From: Me

To: All Who Have Neighbors

My neighbor's a taxi driver. Did I ever mention that?
It's strange because my town isn't exactly the kind of place where you'd expect to need a taxi - but it's nice to know, in case of anything, ya know?

You know how people always say, God puts people in your life for a reason? I believe that. But what about strangers. Even the people you'll never meet. The ones you see every day. You pass by them on your way home, but you don't know them. What purpose in your life do they serve?

Like Mr. Taxi Driver. Often I'll see him when I'm getting home in the afternoon. Sometimes I see him out my window, in a completely non-stalker way, and he'll just be sitting in his bright yellow and orange taxi car, listening to the radio. He's a short white man with lots of facial hair - reminds me of my old neighbor back in Sunny D - he was swell. I've tried making eye contact with Mr. Taxi Driver. I'm anxious to do the neighbor wave/head nod. Even though I don't him. I want to do the neighbor wave. No one here does the Neighbor Wave. Everyone back home did the Neighbor Wave. But here, everyone just kind of runs back to their homes, busy on their cells, busy with their lives. All I'm asking for, is the Neighbor Wave. I don't think it's too much to ask for, after all, all it takes is a hand gesture. =] Makes you appreciate the good things you had once. I had the best neighbors in the entire world, back at home. They knew me, they saw me grow up, we had neighborhood block parties galore. Those were some good people, I'm not saying anything about these people here, all I'm saying, is they were good, pure hearted people. =] I want to be that kind of neighbor when I get older.
I'll come home from work, be getting my stuff out of the car, and just before I duck into home, I'll look back at my neighbor, and Neighbor Wave. =]

From: Me

To: All Who Eat

I can't fit in my jeans anymore.
=[
I don't think I'll go to class tomorrow due to severe distress caused by non-fitting clothes. Hahaha. If only that would work. :P

I went to a friend's Bachelorette Party on Friday (my first one!!) and her Bridal Shower yesterday. I ate moderately, as I have been for most of my freshman year. Without giving too much away, let's just say, I couldn't put on 3 pairs of pants today. I had to do the jeans dance to shimmy them on, then it was murder trying to close them. hahaha. Oh God! This is pathetic! hahaha. I was literally sweating and only inhaling, trying to pull the dang zipper up - never has such a tiny piece of metal become such a large enemy of mine. =\

And now. Even as I'm writing this, I'm about to sit & eat (for the third..no fourth time today?) and have an Argentine feast. Lord, help me. =]


UPDATE: BloggerBreak from fooding. I couldn't even make it through the filet mignon. Impossible. Barely finished the mashed potatoes, don't even get me started on the chorizo! This is sad! It's not even like I'm eating too fast and then get full...nope! I just can't stuff anything else down there! Imma need a crowbar to get me out of these pants. God bless the inventor of sweatpants. Worst part: It's not even the holidays! HA! At least then, I'd have an excuse!
Oi vei.
Dessert is being brought out now. It's from my most favorite bakery in the entire world, and I can't even bear to look at it! Oh the dulce de leche! Ai mi corazon! :P Heart palpitations. Hahahaha. Am I overreacting? =\ The circulation's being cut off at my waist. Oh heavens!
From: Me

To: All In Need of Spiritual Surgery

I'm writing before the storm breaks through (read: I've got four essays to write in three days, and one presentation/interview to start & complete in two days :\ Have I mentioned I love to procrastinate?? ;) So, if I'm online within the next couple of days, call me up, and tell me to get my butt into gear! In other words: I'm not allowed to blogify, as per my own guidelines [for success..nah...to graduate is all I care about hahaha].

This week has been an especially blessing-filled week (although, in reality, every week is a blessing-filled week if you look at it) in terms of music & opportunity & hearing some great stories about God's love and what He's doing in the Christian music field.

Tuesday: My wonderful, wonderful, amazing best friend got me birthday tickets to go see Hillsong United in Sunny-D! I loved the entire day! Went to school in the morning, then drove to La Jolla, went down to the beach (goooorgeous), then up to the Best's dorm to reacquaint myself with her life, visited with another friend going to Best's school (we all got some ice cream, courtesy of the Best), went to the Best's house (which I haven't been to in what seems like forever), and then drove over to the concert. It was great!!!! It was awesome to have these little moments, where the crowd would be singing louder than the band, and I'd look up & look around and see nearly a hundred some people praising with all their hearts! It was just great!! And then of course, comes time for some In & Out. Because, let's face it, what is a day without In & Out? Animal fries anyone? ;]

Friday: My dad works with a man who's fiance used to by Point of Grace's manager at Word Records. Point of Grace, for those who don't know, are like the Dixie Chicks of Christian music. There used to be four of the ladies in the group, but one left, and now there's three. In any case, no matter how many there are, their harmonies on each song and intricate melodies are so refreshing. You listen to their music and think "Now that's good singin!" That's real music! Their songs always remind me of my high school choir director - he was a master of harmonies. One song we performed, senior year, had such a complex pattern of contrasting thirds and then they'd slide into a perfect chord it was jaw-dropping! It was in 8 part harmony and it just made you putty in the director's hands. =] Well, that's exactly how Point of Grace is! In fact, here's one of their more complex acappella pieces which I adore, you can take a listen and you'll hear how in tune they are with each other in tone, vowel positioning, just everything!! =]
This song is called All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name

So my dad's coworker has been very good friends with some Word Records people such as (don't mean to name drop) Amy Grant & Vince Gill, Micheal W. Smith & Point of Grace. These are people that I loved ever since I grew up singing their songs! In fact, Best & I used to want to be Point of Grace, "after they died" is what we'd say! =] haha. And he's given us a few CD's autographed by his friends, which we're so grateful for! But recently, he got my family some tickets to go see Point of Grace this passed Friday near my valley. We also got the great honor of getting to go backstage during intermission & meet the ladies and take a few pictures (up on my book of the face, if you're interested in sneaking a peek!) They have this great new song called "Heal the Wound", which I'll post the lyrics to. And it's just about how no matter how great your sin, there's a God who loves you, who's grace is greater than you could imagine.

"'Come now, let us reason together', says the Lord. 'Though your sins are
like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.'"

Isaiah 1:18

The song says "Heal the wound, but leave the scar". After all of our sins, we're left wounded & in need of love & mercy, the kind of redemption that only Christ can give. But if we were given this grace by God, and we went on living in our sins, what good would that do? Christ's love is much more powerful than that, He's freed us from a life of sin, so that we are no longer slaves to sin, but are given new life through Him. By leaving scars of the things we've been through, we can remember how incredibly merciful He is. And it doesn't matter how deep, how scarlet our sins are, our scars are, our lives have been, He makes them white as snow. =]

I used to wish that I could rewrite
history

I used to dream that each mistake could be
erased

Then I could just pretend

I never knew the me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame
away

Hide all the evidence of who I've been

But it's the memory of

The place You brought me from

That keeps me on my knees

And even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken, torn apart

Take the pieces of this heart

And heal the wound but leave the
scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of
anything

I don't take pride in what I bring

But I'll build an altar with

The rubble that You've found me in

And every stone will sing

Of what You can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken, torn apart

Take the pieces of this heart

And heal the wound but leave the
scar

Don't let me forget

Everything You've done for me

Don't let me forget

The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken, torn apart

Take the pieces of this heart

And heal the wound but leave the
scar

From: Me